You didn’t fall behind. You were taxed. There is a difference.
I have a curious mind. I’m always asking “why?” digging into the data to find the structural reasons for the things we often feel in our bones. But recording this episode felt different. I came into it with questions, not answers. And I stayed there.
I also felt both sad and empowered.
Reading the research again, I discover something new to chew on each time I return to it. And sitting with each finding, following each thread, reminded me of something I don’t always let myself acknowledge. This has a cost. Twelve percent, permanently, is the number they’ve put on it now. It’s silent, structural theft.
There is a grief in that realisation. I worked hard to the point of burnout, and showed up with every bit of energy that I had daily because I couldn’t afford not to.
But here is what I also know. Without knowing what I know now, I stood toe to toe with the system. I navigated it. I created new pathways when the existing ones closed. It wasn’t easy. It was either swim or sink.
I chose to swim.
Now, standing on the shore, I know for sure that the thrashing was worth it. The mess wasn’t my thinking; the mess is the system.
The episode I needed to make was the one where I stopped waiting to have it all resolved before I pressed record. I’m starting to trust that the enquiry itself is the content and enquiry doesn’t need to be answered. And when it is answered that answer can change or evolve.
Take what resonates. Leave the rest.
J’K
